Snoot Full

So, I’ve been kinda gone for awhile.
OK, not really “gone” just away from here.
And the reason for this absence ….

Nope not some glorious excuse like meeting the Queen for lunch or
visiting the castles in Germany – ya I would actually do that one.
Not it..

Sick – not even the trendy and glamorous piggy variety either.
Other folks get the good stuff – I get a stupid sinus infection.
Really – you kidding me?

A Snoot full of Snot – come on!
Head blocked full of ick – can’t breathe – can’t talk – can cough though.
Working on bringing up that first lung here shortly.
I can survive on one right?

Antibiotics and expectorant – really – I need to cough more???
So, I’m thinking I will be human again before Spring.
My energy is slowly starting to return.

I can still nod off right here at the desk though.
Did it yesterday.
Timberrrrrrrrrrrr……………….

Ya, you missed it. Comical as all hell though.
I can type in that weird dreamy not awake not asleep state.
Too bad I don’t have a video feed here.
It would be hilarious to watch that.
Like those videos of little kids falling asleep while eating and they keep eating in their nodding off stage – that would be me.

For now the coughing has subsided a little.
Sweating like a pig though.

So, I guess that is not the trendy oinky part either is it?
Ah well – to horse pills then.

Laundry as Inspiration

I had all these ideas rolling around in my head – now they are illusive.
I can’t say gone – they always come back in some form.
The short science fiction story I wrote in my head at the laundry is still bouncing around taking up space.
I would put it on paper but I don’t really know where to start.
It was really good that day though.
And I don’t do science fiction.
Somehow or another I come up with amazing thoughts at the laundry.
Amazing to me anyway.
I don’t know why.
I don’t mind the laundry at all.
The hauling in and out of the house and the laundry is the part I mind.
The rest of it I’m good with.
Something about all that cleanliness and accomplishment seems to be inspirational.
Huh, go figure.
A chore most people despise and I find my muse.
Makes no sense.
Off to the laundry then
There are things waiting to be written.

Goofy Pictures!

And the theme for today.....

GOOFY PICTURES!!

I am still practicing....

She probably wouldn't be too excited to know this is here. Don't tell her.

He, on the other hand - just wants a little privacy...

Well what do you expect? It is a "quiet moment" is it not?


I know - no class - at all.



And these two fine gentleman have lived on my desk for years.





I look at them innumerable times per day. They always make me smile.




Off for more goofy pictures. It will get better - I hope.

Responsibilities

AHHHHHH – I’m doing it again!
Cyber-stalking…. Do you think she really minds?

She tried to call again – I missed it. again!!
I am very afraid she will stop trying to call.

I wish I could say “it is not my fault” but it is.
I agreed – eagerly – to do this. Now I am never available.

Bills to pay – yay my favorite thing.
I could wish them away – but they don’t leave.

If I didn’t go to work if I simply sat here and waited for her call…
That would make me happy.

I would feel fulfilled, accomplished, started in the right direction.
I wish I knew more than I do now.

I wish I knew how to make this work.
Remember Beanie and Cecil?

Help Cecil Help!

I'm still Learning

Ok some of these aren't too bad. I'm still learning.

This odd looking creature was out for a stroll along the water's edge. Kinda creepy.

The cavalcade of colors here are just unbelievable. The center is a vibrant red with surrounding colors of green, yellow and orange. All provided courtesy of mother nature. You couldn't duplicate these in this perfect harmony.

There Was More

There was more I wanted to tell her
I had used up my chances – reached my quota for the day.

I wanted to tell her talking about it, planning it out, are always the better.
Mama knew for 12 years it was coming.
She started planning and talking.
We all knew her desires for the end, we steeled ourselves for the eventuality.

They didn’t read the paperwork correctly in the hospital.
They hooked her up when she failed.
Old Fart said no – she doesn’t want that.
They kept the machine on until I got there.
It was already too late – she was gone.
The body was continuing without her.
I came for him – he needed me.
It was still a shock for him.
He wasn’t ready to say good-bye.

He was in shock and very lost.
But, we had a plan.
We had all talked.

Cremation – small service at the church – ashes in the columbarium.
And then the clean-up begins.

One got missed.
Couldn’t reach him for a couple of days.
Tried outdated numbers, left random messages.
He called while we were making the arrangements.
His excitement and pleasure upon realizing it was me soon changed –
to sorrow and to pain.
A terrible sense of loss for him.
He had plans to take her to her next appt and talk again – about the end.
She told him much – he asked for my help to make it all work.
We did.
Her secret guardian angel – him – saw it all through.
It was better he wasn’t there at the end – we needed his memories of those conversations.

We talk now of the Old Fart’s end – he is making certain. Don’t be offended by the name – he has been my beloved Old Fart for 47 years – we understand it. He is “g-pa Old Fart” to my daughter. They are beautiful together.

His will be the worst. I love Mama – miss her daily.
I will miss him by the minutes.

We talk often – everyone understands his wishes.

I wish he not leave.

Time is now

Now would be a good time to do what I need to do.
Now would be an excellent time to get some things done.
Now would be the best time to accomplish some tasks that are waiting.

Annndddd… I'm not going to do them.
There are kitties to pet and cuddle
The dog hasn’t had his backside rubbed all day
The information superhighway has been sailing along without me all day…

I can’t justify making forward progress on a task list when these things simply cannot be ignored any longer


See look at evil with ears – as he takes over my desk and my keyboard specifically


And the poopers - well - well - ya just - well

So, as now is as good a time as any – I have important things to do.

Winter

Cold is not my favorite. I grew up in a warm climate. The additional planning and preparation that comes with living in a seasonal location is a bit daunting. And annoying.

Weather was never a factor growing up. It was warm, hot or just stay inside until after dark. The changes in season were highlighted by fog or haze and no fog or haze. Snow, hail, rain, sleet, freezing rain – what is the difference anyway? were never considered. More sun – less sun – that was the extent of the weather patterns. We didn’t winterize our car, our house, our lawn – what lawn? we had rock – seal windows, wrap pipes or any such chore. We just put on a sweatshirt and called it winter. No extra preparation for the cold months ahead – just turn up the air conditioner to a higher setting so the room wasn’t too cool when you woke up. Ya – there was the winter prep right there.

As I say this I am setting up things - read chores - to be done this weekend. We have skipped fall and gone head long into winter. Flurries this weekend. See this picture – it was taken 8 days ago. 8 days ago!! You see any fall in that pond?

We were out walking in the arboretum. This is the newest water feature just completed.

Has a couple of new residents too.

Shorts and t-shirts and tennies. That was the uniform of the day. No coat, no jeans, no boots, no hats, no gloves, nope none of that. It was still a summer day. And now FLURRIES!

Windows to seal in the basement. Faucets to cover outdoors to prevent freezing. Yard decorations to be moved into the garage. New wiper blades and ice removal mixture in each car. Sand tubes for the trunk of my daughters little putt-putt.

And an entire reorganization of our closets. Summer shorts and tanks to the bins, sweaters and long sleeve t-shirts out of the bins and on the shelves. Replace the Egyptian cotton sheets with the fuzzy flannel ones and add at least one blanket to each bed. So long summer nights!

Goes by faster every year.

So, jobs

So, I have one of those job-things now.

Not a great wow-wow one. But, a paying one.
It had to happen you know.

Just because I am unemployed the bills don’t stop.
Go figure….
No money coming in but money still going out.
Not the best long-term plan.

Neither is this job-thing. But, that’s ok. It will bring in a little
money – keep me out of my head so much – let me see the outside
world – and maybe help me with some decisions.

Ya, I have actually already made those choices. I am acting on
them one at a time. With no regrets. I can’t wait for them all
to come through. They will – I am going to make certain.

This job-thing is good. It eases the pressure a little and
allows us all to relax some.
We have been pretty tense around here lately.
this will help.

I am having trouble figuring out if I want to write this in
a more poetry type format or just lay out an essay.

Still don’t know.

Hmmm – onward then.

Paradox - nope not the MD kind...

I can be a procrastinator.
I can be very pro-active.

I don’t mind when some things don’t get started.
I need to finish projects as quickly as possible.

I allow my mind to wander to distant places for
extended periods of time.
I have sharp focus and insight on the task
in front of me.

I am philosophical – finding
the Enlightened Path.
I crave logic - it all must make sense.

I am comfortable alone with my thoughts.
I need people.

Wishes

Strength
Power
Courage
Conviction
Foresight
Competitiveness
Focus
Resilience
Humor
Love

Which one first?
DISCIPLINE

Awhile

He said he would be awhile.
I never know what that means exactly.
Should I expect him in an hour,
two hours,
a day, a week,
a month?
What is the time measurement of awhile?

I wanted to tell her
she would feel better soon –
it would just take awhile.
I didn’t tell her that. It sounded wrong to me.
What would I answer when she asks
how long is awhile?

When you are in emotional pain
and distress – seconds become days.
Awhile doesn’t help.

I had to take it down.

I put up a farewell post for a wonderful young man. Then I took it down. Too raw - sorry new one tomorrow.

People Got Lives

I have discovered through this journey over the last few weeks a few things I heretofore did not truly comprehend. Or to put it in plain language – people got lives – huh, who knew?

Yeah, like when I get up at the fairly decent hour of 8:30 or so – most everyone I know is at school or at work at their desks. Or amazingly already out in the field for the day. And me still in my jammies.

So, I grab my first coffee, do all the obligatory animal rituals and sit down to my connection to the outside world. And nobody’s there. Amazingly enough most of the ever increasing list of blogs I follow haven’t been updated since midnight either. Huh, go figure…It’s like folks got something to do or somewhere to go every day. Without me.
Here I am at home, reading and writing, in my jammies for hours on end. Friends and former coworkers are just going on about their business. Without me.

It is shocking to realize the world does not revolve around one unemployed person, me.
I don’t have the camaraderie of complaint anymore.

I don’t have to get up before the sun.

I don’t have any traffic to fight.

I don’t have an hour commute each way.

I don’t have to fret over what I am going to wear today. The jammie bottoms by daughter makes are quite comfortable for most any activity I care to engage in from my seat thanks.

The coffee always taste good.

The gas station location and price of gas really are not in the forefront of my thoughts now.

My phone is pretty well charged most of the time.

And payday is truly irrelevant.

So, yeah here’s me at my desk, in my jammies, posting to my blog, no worries, except wondering why the dog has gas...AGAIN!! I'm thinking I need more coffee. Hmmm-maybe I need decaf.

Just Don't Feel like it!!

So, I have this rule. If I am going to sit at the computer for hours on end and avoid working or looking for gainful employment, I have to write something – anything. Some days I write four or five blog posts save them in a folder and post them during the week. Some days, I just read everyone else’s blogs and pretend I don’t have time to do my own. Or I use the excuse I can’t get to my keyboard because of this…(which is supposed to be a picture of my daughter's latest rescue. He plops right on my desk in the middle of whatever I am doing and takes a nap! For whatever reason the picture has decided not to leave my camera and join the blog today. Yeah technology is a wonderful thing...) It really is difficult to work around him. We all have something stowed away in the excuse drawer.

The issue is honestly I don’t feel like looking for a job right now. Every one I try, I get no response or a we weren’t looking for you email. No one is really looking at the resume or reading the cover letter. And I am getting really tired of being rejected. It gets to the point of “why bother?” Ok there is that whole we need the money thing but other than that.

I try to stay positive. I am positive this is going to be a long haul. I am looking for the spin here. How do I turn this into something for me and anyone listening (reading) into a teaching/learning moment? I am not sure what I am going to learn from this. I don’t know what to teach then.
Perseverance is going to be a big one. I know with all the competition out there for every job posted I will be one of maybe 100 applicants. I have to keep at it. I have to write each cover letter independently. I have to rework the resume as needed for each posting. I am not fabricating my work history or experience. I am simply reorganizing with different emphasis as the job description dictates. This is a lot of work. And I get really bored after the first couple of times during the day.

I have a feel now for which jobs not to apply to due to the wording of the posting. I also understand which ones are posted but aren’t really available. Those are the ones where someone within the organization has already been chosen for the job but for the legal process to be followed the job has to be advertised and a few interviews held.

I have been on a couple of those recently. The interviewer is looking at the clock behind your head for the whole 28 minutes, talking to his hands about the organization, and doesn’t ask a single useful question. You leave knowing full well that you just wasted the time, gas and dry cleaning bill to make his records appear compliant. Those are the ones you want to look at the creep and say, “Why did you make me come here? You knew you weren’t going to hire me. Couldn’t we have done this non-interview on the phone? Saved us both a lot of time and money.” But, professional courtesy says you can’t do that. Whatever, hope your “new hire” doesn’t work out…. OK not really but what about my time and expense? It is as important to me as yours is to you Mr. Non-interview Man or Woman. Had one of those recently too.

I broadened my idea of a good job and did more searches with the new criteria. I found a few more possibilities but no more solid responses. It is difficult right now. I know some folks that have been looking for work for months. I am hoping, really hoping it doesn’t take that long. We are not independently wealthy people. We need regular incomes to survive. Hubbing is working as much overtime as they will give him. But, that is so not fair to him. He deserves his days off like everyone else does. He will keep at it as long as he can I know. I just don’t know how long that is. I am concerned for his health and well-being. He works in a high stress field. Downtime is imperative for him as it is for all first-responders.

I will keep looking. And I will try to stop whining so much. I just wish it wasn’t so demoralizing.
On we go!

Ice Cream and Family

Growing up the family would get together for various reasons to celebrate assorted holidays and birthdays. This is a normal process for many an extended family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, folks you don’t remember ever seeing before or after that day would all gather somewhere and eat, drink and socialize for an afternoon and evening. Folks would bring a “covered dish” to share and the host would provide the main course. And sometimes dessert.

My Aunt Evelyn and Uncle Don had a good sized piece of property with a few buildings on it. I wish I could remember if it was an older farm or just some sheds on the perimeter, but I can’t recall that far back. I am old and they moved from that house when I was very young. I remember the large porch on the front of the house and the large front yard. Us younger kids had to stay close to the house and play in the front yard. I have no idea where the bigger kids went. I think I remember an old barn type building they were allowed to go to. But, I could be wrong. We would go out there for holidays and gatherings because there was a lot of space. In our heyday we were a large crowd.

One of the joys of being out at Uncle Don’s was homemade ice cream. He was quite proud of his flavorful accomplishments from that old machine. You remember those old things. They looked like an old wooden barrel inside a larger barrel-type tub. The tub part held the ice and rock salt. The inner tub held the ingredients. There was a large crank sticking out the one side. They used only the freshest ingredients – milk, cream, fruit, sugar, vanilla and rock salt. Lots of rock salt. And lots of manpower to turn the crank. Or in the case of my uncle’s ice cream – kid power. We all wanted some homemade ice cream. It was so good. And such a novelty. Who knew you could make the stuff at home.

We thought you just bought the box at the grocery freezer section and took it home. Dad would fuss and swear at how hard it was and how difficult it was to get out of the container. We would all wait in the other room until we were called to the table to “Come and Get Your Ice Cream Before It Melts!” Scarff it down, take the bowl to the kitchen and back to the TV. No preparation, no ceremony, no mess, no fun. But, you could make the stuff at home? Huh, never heard of that.

The day would come and we excitedly climb into the station wagon. Food prepared and covered for the trip. Extra pants and jackets in case it got cold, a blanket and pillow for whomever fell asleep on the way home and “go before we leave cuz I’m not stopping till we get there,” from Dad. And away we went. And we had to stop at least once for someone to do what they should have done before we left. “But I didn’t have to go then,” never went over well with Dad.

The day would progress with socializing and more food preparation. The tables were set for the adults and the kids got the card table in the other room with the plastic dinner ware and the mismatched plates. The great thing about Uncle Don’s was the room to run with not a care in the world. And the homemade ice cream. Long after dinner he would set everything up on the front porch and start the hand crank. And in true Tom Sawyer fashion get us kids to finish it off for him. He would make the periodic obligatory visits to check on progress. Add more rock salt every time and tell us we were doing a good job. As it got more solid we would switch off every few minutes because our arms would get tired. After a while you shout out for someone else to take over and you run off into the yard and have fun. Sometimes it was a bit of a stretch to get someone to relieve you. A rousing game of freeze tag had taken over the labor force. But, eventually someone would show up and you would get to join the game is progress. Only to have Uncle Don return and add more rock salt. This process would go well into the evening until at least full dark. The freeze tag had now evolved into flashlight tag. All the while the kids were playing close by and the ice cream was being prepared.

You know it took me years to figure out how smart my Uncle Don really was. He found a way to keep us occupied, near the house and get dessert prepared with very little effort on his part. All these years I held romantic, nostalgic notions and truly fond memories of those gatherings. Only to recently figure out we had been hoodwinked into manual labor.

I wish Uncle Don were still here. I would love to reminisce with him about those days. He would be so pleased with himself.

Miss ya Unca Don – thanks for the memories.

Ways to enjoy that daily commute - or at least not be bored beyond belief

So after driving to and from work for a long time I have developed some ways to keep occupied during the two plus hours of the daily commute. Mind you I don’t vouch for the legality or advisability of any of them. Just entertainment to keep from running down the fool that just cut you off again…

1.Explore new radio stations – you have at least six if not more presets on your car radio. Try the random search function and see what else is out there. Find one you like stick it on a preset for another day. The next time your favored station gets stupid or annoying or is playing commercials pick a preset and listen for awhile.
2.How long can you listen to the radio and not hear a single song – chattering DJs, commercials, traffic reports? My record was 10 minutes.
3.See if you can guess the next exit – how many times have you driven this way? You should now them by now.
4.Find another way home. I had at least four different ways to travel. All got me home under different circumstances. Give it a shot – breaks up the monotony of the drive.
5.How many stoplights can you find on alternate route #4? Definitely not the fastest way home – how long has that Indian restaurant been there anyway?
6.Try to talk to Dear Old Dad for the entire hour. This will depend on the cell signal, the traffic and whether or not you have enough to say to each other. My Old Fart and I were good at it. Sometimes we were still talking as I was walking in the door.
7.Count how many times you pass the same impatient fool in the pick-up. You know the one – he speeds up, zooms around you into the next lane, weaves in and out for a few car lengths and gets stuck in a line cars next to you. Only to start all over again with the same process as soon as he thinks there is a break in the line. Must be tough to be him some days.
8.Count how many times the same dingus cuts you off – read above for description of the dingus.
9.Paint your fingernails. This works well in stop and go traffic. You need a fairly thin and translucent polish too. You can try when traffic is moving at close to full speed but it is a lot tougher. (Recommended only for those who like polish on their nails)
10.Eat your breakfast. Coffee and pastry works well. Bowl of cereal – not so much. You can try the knee steering method in a long line of slow mowing vehicles but the trooper next to you is not nearly as impressed as you would think.
11.Oh and the hot coffee in the travel cup with a lid is the best. The cute ceramic Hawaii mug with the dancing girls not so effective as you are driving down the road. Coffee gets cold and all over your suit. Just keep it in its box and show it off to your coworkers during that morning meeting. They are already jealous.
12.Write your blog posts - in your head. If you can remember the major points and fill in the details when you are actually in front of your computer this works well. Tough to type and drive …
13.Plan how to escape the next meeting without being overtly obvious. Come on, how many times can you have an important conference call scheduled 20 minutes into the meeting? Be a little more creative.
14.Call around for the best price on the new landscaping for the front yard. You see some good examples on the way home – take some mental notes.
15.Make check-up appointments for yourself. Can you remember the dentist’s name?
16.Pull off and try that oil change place that advertises “no waiting”. What else are you going to do for the next 20 minutes – maybe move 20 yards or so?
17.How many people are driving with expired tags today? You will be surprised.
18.Can you get your left leg up in the seat so that you sit more comfortably with your foot underneath you? Careful it falls asleep sometimes. (not recommended for those with a manual transmission – scary ramifications for the sudden stop)
19.Try to ignore the multitude of text messages you are getting from your family and friends. Tough isn’t it?
20.Sing with the song on the radio – like you’re the only one doing this?
21.Plan your next bar-b-que. Is there a new game to change things up a little? Or do we just hang under the one lonely tree and play follow the shade again?
22.And why don’t Tim and Lindsay eat chicken? What else can you make besides burgers and brats?
23.How many people do you see talking on their cell phones in that 5 mile stretch with the heaviest traffic?


Be thankful you have a job and enjoy the time. No job – no commute….

frustration

trying to post the next blog - formatting issues........ swear, swear, scream!!!
I will get it up when I have more time and more patience.

The downsides of Unemployment

We covered the surprising and the unexpected upsides to unemployment.

Family time, good dinners, working out, cleaner house and more free time – all have been very positive aspects to losing my job.

There are negative points as well. Some are the traditional – some are just ridiculous to imagine. Here we go:

Unemployment is really hard on the fingernails. Really – trust me on this one! The constant cleaning with various chemicals softens nails. Always having my hands in water for the dishes or the laundry or wiping down the bathrooms makes them a peeling mess. I know the lotion thing helps and it does. But, man it is tough on nails. A by-product of the professional life these last few years has been really nice nails. Not so much now. Lotion, polish, filing, trimming – trying to keep the jagged edges from snagging clothes and tearing more of the nail off is hard work. Using them as wallpaper scrapers doesn’t help either. I have trimmed them back and rounded the edges to try and keep them neat and unbroken. I am not happy about it though.

And why does my hair look good now? I have ridiculously curly short hair. All of the sudden this week it decides to cooperate. 40 plus years it has been the bane of my daily routine. This week it looks great! Why?

There is a lot to do around here. We haven’t taken very good care of the house lately. So, I find myself doing those projects that have needed to be done for a long time. I just started taking the hideous wallpaper down in the kitchen. Man it is ugly. But, it was there when we moved in and it is a big kitchen. That is a lot of work taking that down. It is everywhere. Some places it peels off nicely. Some places you need a blow torch and a chisel. I have taken down wallpaper many times. I hate the stuff. I think there should be a law that if you are going to put up wallpaper you have to take it with you when you leave. Hard work and lots of effort are the only ways to get it off. Then I get to clean and prep the walls for paint. I think it will have to be the same color as the sitting room as they run together. Let’s see if I can find that paint color again!!

I don’t have a constant income anymore. I am trying not to spend too much time thinking about that one. Gainful employment is a tough one for a lot of people – not just me. If I think about it too much I make myself a lot crazy. I have a small part-time job and I can keep expenses to as low as possible. Combine trips out – grocery store once a week with a list – use the a/c less – use more natural light and keep the lights in the house off as long as I can. Every little bit helps. That being said I need to open the blinds and turn off the overhead light here in the office.

The four-legged furry people that live here require a lot of attention during the day. Husband says it is just me. They don’t do that to him when he is here alone with them. I am just that special I guess. The gray fuzzy one that crawls all over the desk, blocks the computer screen as he is investigating the contents of the pen cup is a real joy. The constant rubbing and scratching as each in turn come to the desk for my attention is not so bad. The whining and fussing and scratching my ankles when I don’t rub or scratch is enough to make you wish you didn’t ever bring one home. Which is a good point actually. All these rescues were perpetrated by the now college student who is a lot too busy for them all. Hmmm, maybe that was her master plan all along. Save the furry people from eminent demise for Mom to care for in her advancing years. She has been threatened with eviction should she bring one more through the door – any door – any creature.

Being suddenly unemployed is a little bit lonely. Having worked for some years with the same ever shrinking group of people a lot of your social time is spent at the job with those same people. Life changes happen and you all share in those. Births, deaths, anniversaries, day-to-day life are all part of your normal work routine. When you are removed from that setting with no warning and with no preparation it is very disconcerting. You don’t have the interaction with your friends/co-workers in which you have become accustomed. You feel left-out. Everyone else is still sharing with each other but not you. I now have to rebuild relationships that have been neglected and try to create new ones. I have relied on work for new relationships. Not sure I remember how to start one now.


I am certain I will find more positives as I go through this journey and more negatives as well. The job market is tough out there. I expect to be traveling this road for awhile.

The Upsides of Unemployment

Ok there are some upsides to unemployment. Really, after the first week I have discovered a few small but important positive aspects about being unemployed. Here they are in no certain order:

I go to the gym far more often. I love going to the gym. Physically pushing myself to go beyond my limits of strength and endurance feels good. I feel better, I notice subtle changes in strength already and am ready for more. I have maintained by membership over the last couple of years but my attendance has been sporadic at best. I don’t have any excuses now.

I don’t have to laundry on the weekends. I can do it as I have time – any time. No more spending hours on Saturday and/or Sunday loading the washer, moving the heavy wet clothes to the dryer, folding and carrying up the stairs to be put away. I have free time on weekends now. Not that I know what to do with it. But, I got it.

The house is a lot cleaner now. I have time to clean again. I can run the vacuum as it needs to be done. Not when I simply can’t stand the floors anymore. I can sweep when I can get the dog out of the way of the broom. The dishes don’t pile up in the sink. The bathrooms get wiped down a lot more often now too. It is amazing how nice things look when you have the time to take care of them.

Dinners are fun again. I have time to pull out the recipe books and magazines and find something new to create. Or visit an older one we have forgotten about. It makes for better meals and lets me putter around in the kitchen for hours on end. I said I could read a recipe – I didn’t say I was an expert at it.

I get to spend more time with my family. I sure have missed them a lot over the past couple of years. We live in the same house and spend very little time together. It has been very nice to see them every day and spend even a small amount of time with them. I am hoping to spend some time with each of them. If they can stand me…..

My daily food/munchie intake is much less. I have time to prepare meals and sit down to each them. I don’t need all those trail mix snacks and meal replacement bars that I have been eating for the last couple of years. When I try to eat like that now I feel stuffed. Yay…I can eat less and not feel deprived. I wonder how much of that was stress eating?

Oh yeah – my stress level is way down. I have not got upset with anyone nearly as easily as I have been. I haven’t had to play my “I am way too mad to do anything else” CD at all this week. And I haven’t wanted to maim anyone beyond recognition either. Life is getting better.

I don’t have to get dressed before 2 o’clock in the afternoon. I spend the morning working at the computer and being accosted by furry people. I go to the gym when my behind falls asleep and my legs are numb. After my sweatfest I take a shower, get dressed, do the hair and make-up thing. I am ready to start my day – at 2PM. Beats getting up at 5:45 AM any day.

And, DIY projects are not so bad. Husband and I got the back storm door up. Took three hours, a bit of swearing and little blood to accomplish it. But, it is up and functional and as a bonus it looks good. It operates better than the last one too. Points to Husband for that. He can be truly amazing sometimes.

Which brings us to the down side of unemployment. We will address those in the next post.

Journey through well everything

I don't have to worry about that job anymore. It is gone. I was not surprised - just disappointed.

I hoped he would have more courage and professionalism than he did. Apparently not! The search begins now for gainful employment.

I am trying to find the courage and commitment for my dreams. I don't know if I have it. This would be the perfect opportunity if I can find the strength. I am more afraid of the risk than the failure. Doesn't make much sense does it? We are given these opportunities so very rarely and yet we just miss them or ignore because of the risks involved....

I started keeping a list on the notepad on my desk. I write topics for upcoming posts as they occur to me. I tried keeping them in my head but they get lost up there. Some are humorous as this life just keeps getting funnier as I get older. Some are topical and deal with the news of the day. I glanced over the list before I started and found a couple that could be combined as well. So, I will have this to keep me busy and to keep me focused. I am going to practice here. Hone some skills and try to make this enjoyable for me and for you.

I can easily get lost in my own mind for hours at a time. I am attempting to let some of those thoughts and ideas out of the confined space there. If I can put them down here and learn how to organize them maybe it will help with the future. It feels like a situation where I just have to move forward. I have to get out of my own way and see where I can go with it.

As a side note, I am looking for a simple to use small digital camera. I am not good with too many dials and settings for operation. The one we have now I have never been able to use. So, if I can find an inexpensive, decent camera I will gladly post some photos and illustrations as I go on this journey.

Come along for the ride.... it will be entertaining anyway.

Changes

You know it is amazing. I haven't been here for a week and I have missed it. I got caught up on my friend's sites. That is always enjoyable. I don't think about them for a few days and then all the sudden I miss them. I have to log-in and see how everyone is doing.

Oh, the Old Dude is ok. He didn't have surgery after all. He had some more tests and now we are trying to get him to do a little more activity--ok a lot more activity. I told my brother the Old Fart needs a puppy. It will make him move around, go outside, go for walks, and get him interacting with people. I can't find anyone in the family to agree with me. Though I know Kim S. would. Bear rescued her when she rescued him.

We have talked more about moving again. The winter times here are tough. Much tougher than we want in our advancing years. That and we are just not in love with the area. He needs more mountains - for hiking, skiing, and just plain enjoying. I need some water. Somewhere I can kayak and canoe to enjoy the scenery and the time spent on the water. Oceans are great for kayaking - lake and streams work for canoeing. S0, we are looking at the coasts though probably not the West Coast again. We weren't happy there. I can't quite figure out why though. It just wasn't good for us. We have been much better here. Some of that may be maturity too. We is old! We decided to work on a plan over the next year. Where do we want to go? What do we want to do? By this time next year we will be ready to make a change in one direction or another. That part is exciting.

All I need...

Success - we have cool air! The ever amazing hubbing came through. He took the thing apart and put it back together - and it works. We had a motor replaced and we good! $500 poorer - much cheaper than the 8 grand for a new one! Yay - I am so easy to please.

Still waiting on outcome of Old Fart's surgery today. Being this far away sucks!! He is getting on in years. His health is not the greatest. This is the 4th surgery in a year. My brother, his "Guardian Angel," hasn't sent any of us a message yet. I have tried to call a couple of times to no answer. I know he isn't supposed to have the cell in certain areas of the hospital but ...some rules you just have to break. They are stupid rules. Like GA is supposed to leave the Old Dude and go out to make update calls. NOT!! I hope we hear soon. I am trying to operate on the theory that no news is good news. If something were very wrong I would have heard by now. I will keep telling myself that over and over until I believe it anyway. Old Fart had plans to come visit this summer. He was going to make a trip out of it. He loops around visits childhood friends and the cluster of us that live around here. He stays until he is tired of us and moves on to the next one. He opted not to make the trip this year. Said there wasn't enough money and his health wasn't so good. I miss him. He gets on my nerves and yells at the dumb dog. But, he is Dad, The Old Fart. I don't want to miss him yet. Not yet.

I am looking for a better template that will allow me to do more. If you know of a good one - let me know. This one is very limiting.
Peace ....

And so We Begin...

So, here is my world.

My job is not stable, there isn't a lot out there to choose from at the moment. That makes it difficult to find a new job. I smile and go to work each day while my husband waits for "the call."

Our house is 11 years old and things are starting to show their age. The heat pump just took a dump! Yay! That's a nice expense to look forward to this week. Summer has returned with a vengence now too. Last few weeks it was like spring. We need the usual stuff replaced like carpet and flooring. Rooms need a fresh coat of paint - roof could use a new layer. New windows would be great. So would the money to fix it all.

Poor old dog is getting on too. Starting to have a few health issues. The cats however are just fat and healthy - can't say happy. Who knows with a cat anyway?

But, the family is in good shape. We all are working and/or going to school (or both). The bills are paid. The new automatic ice cream maker I got for my birthday is AMAZING!!! And the septic tank hasn't had an major issue in months.

So life is good!! We are doing what it takes around here - everyday...
more to come stop by again I will get some photos up soon.