The Blood Letting was minor

So, this is the first time in a week I have had the opportunity to catch my breath. OK, breathing is good. Now what? Well, there was that thing in the kitchen I need to fix….

See this….

Yup I did it. Somehow, last week while I was washing dishes. Looks like fun don’t it? Ya not so much. So, to preserve this….. I have to get the little one out of the big one without breaking the big one. It is very important you know.

Mr. Grumpy’s favorite coffee cup. Very Important!

I tried the steak knife down the side annnddd broke the tip off the knife. I tried hot and cold – I tried one hot and the other cold – nothing budged. I tried pouring vegetable oil down the insides. Still nuthin’… So, I decided today it was time to break out the big guns.

OK, so it’s just a power tool – but it is powered. Well, it’s powered when you remember to charge it…. I wasn’t the last one to use it so I cannot be held responsible. And it didn’t work.

Then came the BIG ONE!! And a much larger bit. And still nuthin’… Hmmfph

As a last resort – I dug up the old faithful hammer and thingie you pound with the hammer.

Nope don’t what it’s called and don’t care. Please don’t tell me cuz I won’t remember. Then you will think you’re having an aneurysm or something. Cuz I will have no idea what you are talking about and your head will try to explode. Or Something like that.

TA –DA!!!! SUCCESS! Check it out. A plain old hammer and poundie thingie broke through the super thick twenty year old little bowl. It’s at least twenty years old anyway. I can’t remember not having it. There was one terrifying moment when a loud “CRACK” resounded through the mud room, laundry room, fix-it room when it is too hot to be in the garage room. I panicked and stopped pounding for a minute. After thorough inspection I decided the cracking sound was the little cup. And prayed I was correct. I did not want to tell Mr. Grumpy I took a hammer to his favorite cup.

Dug the pieces out of the cup; washed it and it is ready for use. I hope I didn’t cause any real damage to the cup.

And the blood letting was minor.

All in all a successful day.

So Life Changes

So, I've been avoiding this post for awhile now. If I don't write it - it won't be real...
Ya that never works. And it is very personal. And I don't want it to be happening.
And well yeah - just AND.

So, we moved CiCi yesterday. Very sad. She's gone. I know they grow up and leave home. I know!! But, are you ever ready for it? She was excited and then she was scared and then she was borderline hysterical and then I just wanted her to come back with me.

And she didn't. I was reassuring as a good mom should be... Ya let's put me up for MOM of the YEAR, not. I know she has to leave me and has to learn to be on her own. I know that! I know she needs to learn about adult decisions and adult consequences. I know as long as she lives under my roof I will take care of those things for her. And I know she won't learn anything. And so I helped her move out. I helped carry the bed down the stairs, out the door into the back of the truck. I loaded my truck and her car and we took off down the road. The very long three hour road thanks. And the cat in the carrier screaming in my ear the entire way. Yay me!

And I unloaded the big truck and the small truck and her car. And I held her while she cried. And I left her before she could see me cry. That simply would not do. I was the voice of reason,"You will be fine," "Just give it some time,""You have friends here, they are happy to have you closer now,""Your cousin will be here shortly living in the next room,""If it doesn't work out you can come home." Please God come home.

And I drove home alone. All Alone! And she called. And she cried. And she called again. And she was laughing! Someone stopped by to help her with her bed. Her room was put together now. New pretty pink sheets on the bed. The kitty was getting comfortable. Yeah, came out of her carrier by herself and was checking things out and folks were stopping by to say hi and meet the kitty! Oh and when would be better to start job hunting Sunday or Monday? Good to hear honey - very glad you are getting settled in. Start job hunting on Monday - no don't give the kitty a special treat just yet. Let her stomach calm down. I can almost hear out of my right ear. Yes that's a good thing. Yes she is a sweetie. Sure, sure we can talk later. Who's Mike? No I haven't met him yet. Sure, sure next time ... next time.

So sad. So very glad.

Passions Part 2

So, obviously you give me a subject I am passionate about and I go a little nuts. I’m ok with that. We all need our passions. Mine are just a kinda different. Eh, ok.

Part 2

Racial bias lives on in our society. We hope it doesn’t – we tell ourselves it is almost non-existent – but it.never.leaves. It raises its’ ugly head within my own family. A fact I have never been proud of nor ever will. I can’t say it. But, it is so very true.

And my daughter will face it for the rest of her life. My husband faces it every day as well. People are uneducated and are ridiculous in their opinions and in questions. “So, uh ___ do you speak Navajo?” Huh? Where did that come from? Navajo yet. That’s new. Not realistic – not even close to possible – but new.

Most of the time it is a sly comment. A backwards glance not intended for you to notice. An “insider’s” joke with the person of some color being the joke. This is how the civilized world handles their prejudices. Let my daughter start to date her son and see how that changes. Have my husband show up at the door as a first responder to a call for help and wait for those attitudes to come with the fool to answer the inquiry at the door. Things change quickly. Then there is always the idiot in a public place making no attempt to mask their disdain or their hatred. The older woman glaring at our family on an outing with such a look of contempt and hatred wanting to spout some true fountain of filth from her small mind. Holding her tongue because she has no visible support surrounding her. Someone may not come to her rescue here. But, by God there was a day when they would have. Such people as these would never have been allowed out in this public venue like this. These folks just don’t know their place anymore. Ya, lady, I heard ya. Don’t care. Don’t want to look at you anymore. Except, maybe to say, “WTF is your problem? I have heard this crap for 40+ years. My daughter will hear it. My husband will continue to hear it. And, it.doesn’t.change.a.thing. We are not leaving. Get over it already.”

Skin color has no bearing on one’s ability to rear children – to raise responsible adults – to relieve some of the burden on society. I gave birth to my daughter because I wanted her. She is the light of my existence. Dissenting opinions are needed to make us stronger and make us more able to succeed. Idiots do us no good.

Mothers Day and Everything Else

Yesterday I read Kait’s post and was flabbergastered. I left without commenting because I was seething. I cannot understand how in this day and age that such ridiculousness still exists.

We are not in some sort of Dark Ages people. There can be no separation of peoples due to skin color! Family is Love. Pure and Simple. Caring, Nurturing, Guidance and Patience know no color boundaries.

I have very personal issues with this. My daughter is biracial as well. Normally, when I say this people look at me weird and say, “She doesn’t look black.” Cuz, she ain’t!! She is Hispanic. And that prejudice still exists. Even friends we have had for years are not sensitive to this. “Ya, he was too tall to be Mexican – don’t know what he was.” Well, my vote would be Human! And to send you to the nearest cultural awareness training and sensitivity class! Idiot!!

My daughter is a college junior who is a stunning young woman 5’10” olive toned skin dark beautiful curly hair with an incredible fashion sense. This is a good thing considering she is a fashion major by choice. Perhaps your stereo-typical expectations were a 4’10” woman with an armload of kids and ratty ill-fitting clothes unable to communicate properly in the English language. Idiot!! Where do you get your information? Rush Limbaugh your hero?

I have witnessed first hand the horrible treatment by the white perceived-by-themselves-to-be-elite of my child. We moved to the Midwest from the California coast. That is another post for another day. We did our homework. We looked up demographics for the area. We researched schools and communities. We were informed on test scores and college prep. We purchased a lovely custom home in an inviting area with lots of room. We brought our dog, our cats, and our kid – we brought our family.

There was a demographic I forgot to check. Her first day of school a new classmate looked at her and said, “You’re Mexican? Wow that’s cool!” Ummm, what? Uhhh, huh? It never stopped. It was present the day they wrote ‘JUNGLE BUNNY” on her car in the school parking lot. The day the school principal knew nothing about. Her car in the front parking lot in the front row where she had parked for 3 years running. Always parked in the same place – always surrounded by the same group of friends. The fools didn’t even know the proper terms for her degradation. SPIK – BEANER – WETBACK those were terms they should have been using for their hate mongering. Terms she has heard before. Their prejudice runs so deep and is so ingrained by their surroundings the details don’t matter to them. Any derogatory term would work to bring about hate and loathing and fear. Idiots!!

This horror directed at the sweetest kid on the planet. She would give her heart and her soul to help anyone or any living thing that needed it. Go ahead ask me how and why we have a household full of pets. Haven’t bought one yet. Not once – nope – in 20 years. This child drove an hour one way to volunteer at an animal rescue facility. She gave up her weekends to do that. She would come home and go on and on about the kitties. (No – you bring one more home and all y’all are moving out!) Some days she would have a few new scratches – that was ok with her. Every day she volunteered she would come home and shower and leave the clothes she wore in the mud room. In case they were contaminated she didn’t want to spread anything to her menagerie. Some days she would be so worried about a particular dog that might be hard to place because of the horrors visited upon it during its short life span. (No – we have one neurotic beast. He can’t take anymore.) A beautiful baby girl always trying to help out around the house. Though that changes a little in the teen years.

And her skin tone is the one thing they see. Her skin tone is their barometer for her place in the world. Please God tell me how this is possible. I would be ecstatic to have her skin tone by the way. At least one less cat too. But, I digress. A hard-working, empathetic, caring and fun loving college student headed for a better life. And they see a dark girl. REALLY! I see an elitist pig with no hope of growth when I see them. A stagnate person in a putrid foul place. She hates remembering her high school years. She did well in school despite what they did to her. They let her not play on the basketball team for 3 years before she quit. I applauded that day. She completed an incredible senior project its first year of inception. Still gets mentioned to this day by subsequent classes. Mostly by the teachers though. Ya the teachers – glad to be rid of most of them too. The majority of them grew up around here – ‘nuff said.

There is more to say about this. I will post again on the subject of prejudice and hate. We can’t let it take over. We have to stay ahead of it and make every effort to integrate the society that won’t let go of it.

No person loves a child for the accessory factor. No child is ever willing to be a “bracelet” to complete an outfit. Children don’t choose their heritage, their families, or who loves them. It is a rare gift to be able to choose a child to love. A child’s color and a mother's color are completely irrelevant.

To Be Continued.

The Tide

Photo Credit:©Thefeld_4688 sm.jpg - my cousin, David

I don’t know when the tide turned or if it has completely.
I do know it is different now.
Our communication is the best it has ever been.
I am so very impressed with us.
It took 10 years to learn to do this.
We are ourselves now too.
While there is much to be said for that – sometimes it is a little weird.
“Honey, will you look at this thing on my butt? I can’t see what is.”
Ya, kinda weird.
Special and endearing but a bit odd.
You lose some mystery however, it is replaced by a comfort of knowing.
We know each other – we share our thoughts with each other.
The questions we have are asked and we are certain of the responses.
We believe in one another.
We make plans and set goals together.
A process we haven’t done before really.
We have worked at a goal.
We haven’t collaborated in the past.
We simply took steps and made plans to meet a conclusion.
There was no togetherness about it.
We were simply existing together.
We are better now.
Bright, happy, moving forward.
I am so very impressed with us.

Walking

We went walking again this weekend.

He is very tolerant these days.
I know I make him crazy with all my picture-taking.
He points out things for me to take pictures of now.

Even after I have put my camera away so we can walk at a decent pace.
See – already put it in my pocket. And took it out again cuz he pointed these out.

I am not sure why what I was seeing isn’t what came through.
I may revisit this one and try again.

We will have to find a new place to walk soon.
I have taken enough winter and early spring pictures already.
We need some new scenery.
Any suggestions?