So, obviously you give me a subject I am passionate about and I go a little nuts. I’m ok with that. We all need our passions. Mine are just a kinda different. Eh, ok.
Part 2
Racial bias lives on in our society. We hope it doesn’t – we tell ourselves it is almost non-existent – but it.never.leaves. It raises its’ ugly head within my own family. A fact I have never been proud of nor ever will. I can’t say it. But, it is so very true.
And my daughter will face it for the rest of her life. My husband faces it every day as well. People are uneducated and are ridiculous in their opinions and in questions. “So, uh ___ do you speak Navajo?” Huh? Where did that come from? Navajo yet. That’s new. Not realistic – not even close to possible – but new.
Most of the time it is a sly comment. A backwards glance not intended for you to notice. An “insider’s” joke with the person of some color being the joke. This is how the civilized world handles their prejudices. Let my daughter start to date her son and see how that changes. Have my husband show up at the door as a first responder to a call for help and wait for those attitudes to come with the fool to answer the inquiry at the door. Things change quickly. Then there is always the idiot in a public place making no attempt to mask their disdain or their hatred. The older woman glaring at our family on an outing with such a look of contempt and hatred wanting to spout some true fountain of filth from her small mind. Holding her tongue because she has no visible support surrounding her. Someone may not come to her rescue here. But, by God there was a day when they would have. Such people as these would never have been allowed out in this public venue like this. These folks just don’t know their place anymore. Ya, lady, I heard ya. Don’t care. Don’t want to look at you anymore. Except, maybe to say, “WTF is your problem? I have heard this crap for 40+ years. My daughter will hear it. My husband will continue to hear it. And, it.doesn’t.change.a.thing. We are not leaving. Get over it already.”
Skin color has no bearing on one’s ability to rear children – to raise responsible adults – to relieve some of the burden on society. I gave birth to my daughter because I wanted her. She is the light of my existence. Dissenting opinions are needed to make us stronger and make us more able to succeed. Idiots do us no good.
We had had the girls for about three weeks (and had not yet adopted them) when we took them to Target one night. We kept running in to a girl (probably 15ish) and her mom every couple aisles. They were white and kept giving us the ugliest looks. More than once we would turn the aisle and hear them making comments about the girls and about us. They were speculating about whether the girls were adopted or if I was just slutty, why we had them, making jokes about the girls hair and skin, making jokes about us.
ReplyDeleteI was horrified. I didn't know what to say. I just remember looking at my husband and trying not to cry. For the first time, I realized that when people looked at my family they wouldn't necessarily see what I saw. They would look at our skin colors and judge and there is nothing we can do about it.
Even now, people who know me and the girls from preschool or the playground are surprised when they meet my husband and realize he's white. We don't advertise that the girls are adopted because it shouldn't matter. But somehow, for some reason, it always does.
Kait,
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how sorry I am this happened to you and your family. Small minds and smaller hearts are difficult to handle for anyone. You have been given a unique and precious gift. Love them, teach them and F**K the rest of them.